Can’t believe I am living here for 4 months now. Well, actually I am still on the phase convincing myself that I am truly living now in America. It sounds insane, buuut.. it’s true. That is what I am feeling at least. Or maybe this is just a part of adjustment. Feeling like half of your body is still there in your country where you lived most of your life.
I have to say sorry for slacking off writing a new blog entry for like 2 months now. It has been a little crazy, my mind have been off for weeks. That and my weird anxiety attacks which basically makes me worry about just everything. Even if my life is pretty going well. Hey, this is what I’ve always imagined my life to be: a beautiful and simple home, an almost perfect husband, bookshelf full of books. Oh and fridge loads of food.
So that made my bum a lazy one for weeks. Good thing I chatted with my bestfriend and gave me a brilliant idea which made me fairly and respectably busy. That is reading 8 Harry Potter series nonstop. I remember finishing one book for a day. Made me dream a lot about the wizarding world. Not that I’m complaining.
If you have a luxury of time, it won’t guarantee you that it can make you productive at the end of the day. Sometimes, having that luxury of time makes you feel more unproductive. When all you can do is sit, watch movies, surf internet, eat, sleep and especially clean.
So maybe you are wondering why I don’t work. Well, newsflash is- I just can’t! Just last Friday, Oct. 7.. I had a USCIS apppointment for biometrics. So that means it’s just a start of another process so I can legally live here in the US with my husband. The process takes 9 months to a year. Until I can get my greencard which makes me finally eligible to work.
So this gives me a LOT OF FREE TIME for at least a year. I should be very happy right- well, I am. It makes me happy so much that it makes me worry too. With certain things at least.
Maybe being in a new country with no friends yet practically makes me feel so alone. Maybe the culture, the quietness, the differences, new things and being constantly presented with changes just overwhelms me.
I love being inside the house a lot now because this is officially my safe haven. Getting out there presents me a wild wild world. Lol, just kidding. It’s just foreign that’s all. All I need is to take that baby steps soon. When I am ready.
I have already accepted few months before I came here that it will be all different. I will be away from the familiar presence of my family and friends. But no amount of preparation would be enough for an emotional and mental ride like this.
Anyhow, I have noticed that even I have all the time in the world.. time flies so fast. In just 2 months, I will be here for 6 months. Already HALF A YEAR. It sounds dramatic like that. But in the middle of worrying of just about everything, I realized I should not be worrying at all.
Life isn’t supposed to be perfect. Life doesn’t always go your way. Even if it goes your way, it doesn’t guarantee you unlimited or never-ending happiness. Happiness is a more fleeting kind of feeling. It always comes and goes. Look at the brighter side: It always comes!
So now that I have come in terms with my own mind (after some tough duels). It finally calmed down. (Thus, I am writing this blog entry now.) I realized I can enjoy things as they come. Like I am totally enjoying the season of fall. A joyous pumpkin season with creamy butternut soup and yummy apple cider juice among other things. I am so hype and looking forward to the upcoming holidays. It’s going to be pretty intense celebrating my first Thanksgiving and Christmas before this year ends. I am all up to creating new memories here in my new home with my sweet husband and his very kind family. Collecting and creating my very own “American Nostalgia List’ and putting it in my special book.
So calm your own mind down, comrade! Quit worrying, spend your luxury (of time) however you want. Smile, let go.. and just enjoy the present! That is pretty much the key to a well lived life.
-Anna
No Comments